A note to your future self.


To my future self,

As I sit here in the wee hours of the morning watching “the National” on CBC.ca, they did a piece about notes to yourself from when you were younger. That got me thinking, I wonder what I would of wrote myself for the age I am now. Would a high school letter to my older self read as a party narrative, or a parenting narrative, or a university narrative. If I think back to high school and someone told me I would of graduated university I would of thought you were crazy. I grew up with Automotive workers in my blood. I would of considered becoming a factory rat, and being okay with it, because when growing up it was an honest job with good benefits and good money. I know when I was in high school, my friends of the time were all positive that I would be the first to have children…. Now, seem to be the only one who doesn’t have children. But that is besides the point. If i were to write a letter in high school to myself now… I don’t think I would of landed anywhere near where I am today. Today I have an amazing significant other, I am University educated, and going into a field of helping others. There is one thing though that has gotten bigger as I have grown older, the stress level.. I was carefree in the those days, and now a day doesn’t go by where I don’t stress over the smallest things. Even as I write this, I can feel my muscles tense and my heart beat rising… Fear driven I suppose.

If I were to write a letter to my older self from now I would ask myself: Have I paid off debts related to school? Do I have a Masters? Do I have a career that I love? Do I have passion Fatigue which is common in the field? Currently, I am waiting for convocation as I graduated half way through the year. I am looking forward to seeing the family up from the States and Eastern Canada. I am also looking forward to moving to where the significant other got accepted to her Master’s program she applied for. Life is good, though stressful. Shift work is getting to the best of me and I believe symptoms of depression are seeping in as I stay on nights, because that what the schedule states. The long winter, and spring snow storms don’t allow spring to advance. Seasonal Mood Disorder could be a thing for me. Nights + Winter = a whacky mood I rather not be in. I would state to my future self, to get out more, to be active more (and to complete T25, Insanity, & Turbo Fire). I look forward to more vacations, and more time with my significant other :D. I wouldn’t mind more sitting on a beach chair that I’ve put on the tip of the beach and watch the waves come in and wash over me. I’ve traveled more in the past few years then I ever thought possible and I believe I have caught the travel bug!.

Your Younger Self,

Me.

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Stitch & Stitch & Me

Life off the internet


Now I know, that seems like a weird title to come up with. And you are right, me with out internet… There is no such thing!. I have it @ home, work, and on the cellular. I am always connected. The significant other has begun doing no electronics 30 minutes before bed, and I try to do the same; the internet though keeps calling my name. I have to check facebook, twitter, and my email right before bed. Its Crazy! It’s an addiction. I keep trying the no electronics 30 minutes before bed, I’ve got it down to about ten minutes. I think it is a semi-success, as I just have to keep growing that number. Later in the year, there will be a period where I wont have access to anything, and I think that will be like quitting cold turkey, though I do believe when I do get back to the internet, I will instinctively use it less, or at least one would hope so. Go back to the days of yore (childhood), where the internet meant playing Sim City on Windows 3.1 on your parents computer in the basement.Going to the pool, and having your big sis take you by the arms and spin you around… Those days seem so far away now. I think internet would of ruined them, just as I see kids these days (geizzer talk), cant step 5 ft away from the Ipad… So wish me luck to get to 15 minutes of internet free.

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Holiday Brain / Life after School


I know it has felt like ages since I did my last post. And you are right, it has. I’ve been busy since I got back from Christmas Holidays where I have neglected my blog. Mostly because I unsure of what to write since I’m out of school. Though that is not entirely true, as I am doing a classes online for an Addiction certificate. I am technically in school, but from home. But for the most part, I have gotten a new job, and went on holidays again (Hawaii).

I’m back from Holiday (always too short), and for some reason I still have Holiday brain. I work shift work and with doing so my body seems to be like “hey, you did this shift work for five years its time to give it up.” My brain since back from holidays, seems to agree. After doing 5 years of security and shift work, it seems that I’m over it. I guess my ultimate goal is do something I love, and to have a routine schedule as that what works best with the ADHD style brain, don’t get me wrong I like what I do. With this shift work (again after coming back to it after short stint of Mon-Fri 9-5 (Loved it)), that I tend to be more anxious, I tend to clock watch more, and I tend to way over eat as I am trying to keep the same eatting schedule with the significant other… On the night shifts, I find myself eating snacks, chocolate, chocolate milk, and sitting on my ‘toockus’ watching Youtube videos.

This shift work does lead to something good, besides money in my pocket it leads to hours towards getting a Master of Social Work Acceptance letter, and the feeling of satisfaction that you are helping others along their journey in life (which feels rewarding). By the end of the month, I will be half way towards a U of Manitoba hours, while only a Quarter or so from U of Calgary, or U of Alberta hours (playing the game of how many letters can I get behind my name, currently: BaCJ (Bachelor of Arts: Criminal Justice)).

My ultimate goal is to become an Addiction Counsellor, and I know I have to jump through some hoops to get there. I’m on the right track to get there, but I must keep my body and mind healthy along the way, and I have seem to hit speed bump of anxiety and needed to vent and by no means bad-mouth anyone or anything.

I can say, transitioning from student to a working person is hard. You are on a different schedule, you have mentors but you don’t know it at the time, Money is actually coming in. The biggest thing to me is that there are no more term papers to write, and the information from real experiences gets crammed into the brain; so you try to run two different styles of thinking at once. To me, It has become overwhelming, and a bit scary.

I want to do great things in my life, so to achieve that I must work on myself a bit more. It’s a Journey. Don’t waste it. Maybe I need to step back, see my bigger picture, align myself with what my aspirations are and go for it. Come August Yellowknife or Edmonton or Manitoba will be my calling grounds as that source of alignment. I look forward to it. And who knows, this doom and gloom I projected earlier in the post may be a season mood disorder dealy, or that I’m not getting enough sunlight, or that it’s cold outside. All I know is I am heading in the right direction, and I believe my new job, and ‘self-health’ will get me there.

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Squinting eyes trying to see the turtles swimming in the ocean

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Hmm, I thought, I wonder what it would be like to live in Hawaii with the significant other?

I needed to talk that out, and thank you for ‘listening’, having it swirl around in my head wasn’t doing it any good. This was a moment of pausing and reflecting where I am at right now. It felt good. I am now ready to continue on.

Runny Nose Olympics.


I swear I haven’t forgotten about you guys. I have though been really busy with life. As of tomorrow, I will be fully trained on all areas of my new job (various programs require various amounts of training). So I am looking forward to it. With the cold snap that we have been having, I think besides doing transports tomorrow, we will also help the encampment team by talking with and encouraging the hard sleepers (people who sleep outside) to come in to the warmth of my work. I look forward too it. Ill end the shift pretty late, but hopefully the last transit thinger doesn’t leave without me because friday night downtown cabs are hard to come by. 

Fast-ly approaching is my coming holidays, so I am looking forward to fun in the sun accompanied by the significant other and our plushy Stitch. I’m looking forward to traveling and with that fast approaching my body has decided to become sick… I am starting off the night with a runny nose, but hey, as long as it is done and over with by the time I land in the sun next weekend (Sans electronics:) ).

As everyone knows, Sochi starts tomorrow (Opening Ceremonies Friday at 7am MT – I’ll sleep through it). I fear for the durability of the infrastructure in Sochi, I’ve herd (rumors) that someone was already injured during practice runs, and that the judges are judging on a slant. I bet that there was some backroom shmoozing going on to award Russia with the Olympics even though they did not have the required things to support it when the bid was made, as other countries proved the could hold it. I hope the IOC investigates these games. But that’s besides the point. I have been following the media coverage of  Sochi, and the Twitter tag #SochiProblems and I can tell you hilarity ensues. Today on the #SochiProblems I saw a picture of a star dog on the Biathlon course (Found Here)(hopefully it wasn’t doctored), because I know if i was a participant, I wouldn’t want to be disqualified because of unforeseen dogs. I do feel bad though that the problems of Sochi have over run the Athletes of Sochi, in such a way that news is talking about the problems instead of the reach for gold!. What is your prediction for Canadian Gold, Silver, and Bronze?

Either-way I am just rambling here… So I am off to bed… so that I can sleep through the opening ceremonies w/ this runny nose. 

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