I know it has felt like ages since I did my last post. And you are right, it has. I’ve been busy since I got back from Christmas Holidays where I have neglected my blog. Mostly because I unsure of what to write since I’m out of school. Though that is not entirely true, as I am doing a classes online for an Addiction certificate. I am technically in school, but from home. But for the most part, I have gotten a new job, and went on holidays again (Hawaii).
I’m back from Holiday (always too short), and for some reason I still have Holiday brain. I work shift work and with doing so my body seems to be like “hey, you did this shift work for five years its time to give it up.” My brain since back from holidays, seems to agree. After doing 5 years of security and shift work, it seems that I’m over it. I guess my ultimate goal is do something I love, and to have a routine schedule as that what works best with the ADHD style brain, don’t get me wrong I like what I do. With this shift work (again after coming back to it after short stint of Mon-Fri 9-5 (Loved it)), that I tend to be more anxious, I tend to clock watch more, and I tend to way over eat as I am trying to keep the same eatting schedule with the significant other… On the night shifts, I find myself eating snacks, chocolate, chocolate milk, and sitting on my ‘toockus’ watching Youtube videos.
This shift work does lead to something good, besides money in my pocket it leads to hours towards getting a Master of Social Work Acceptance letter, and the feeling of satisfaction that you are helping others along their journey in life (which feels rewarding). By the end of the month, I will be half way towards a U of Manitoba hours, while only a Quarter or so from U of Calgary, or U of Alberta hours (playing the game of how many letters can I get behind my name, currently: BaCJ (Bachelor of Arts: Criminal Justice)).
My ultimate goal is to become an Addiction Counsellor, and I know I have to jump through some hoops to get there. I’m on the right track to get there, but I must keep my body and mind healthy along the way, and I have seem to hit speed bump of anxiety and needed to vent and by no means bad-mouth anyone or anything.
I can say, transitioning from student to a working person is hard. You are on a different schedule, you have mentors but you don’t know it at the time, Money is actually coming in. The biggest thing to me is that there are no more term papers to write, and the information from real experiences gets crammed into the brain; so you try to run two different styles of thinking at once. To me, It has become overwhelming, and a bit scary.
I want to do great things in my life, so to achieve that I must work on myself a bit more. It’s a Journey. Don’t waste it. Maybe I need to step back, see my bigger picture, align myself with what my aspirations are and go for it. Come August Yellowknife or Edmonton or Manitoba will be my calling grounds as that source of alignment. I look forward to it. And who knows, this doom and gloom I projected earlier in the post may be a season mood disorder dealy, or that I’m not getting enough sunlight, or that it’s cold outside. All I know is I am heading in the right direction, and I believe my new job, and ‘self-health’ will get me there.
I needed to talk that out, and thank you for ‘listening’, having it swirl around in my head wasn’t doing it any good. This was a moment of pausing and reflecting where I am at right now. It felt good. I am now ready to continue on.